Today I feel both broke, and, rich all at once.
I feel broke because by society’s standards I am. For once I have decided to put my own self care as a priority, and that means I am slowing down to practice a mindful approach to launching a new set of offerings in my work — a deeper and more aligned layer to my approach as a coach, a healer, an experience designer — and I am building creations that feel the most authentic and true to me as I can be. Ironically I have felt that in order to work this way, I have to take a hit on all the other fronts that one could use to measure themselves as “successful” (income, # of clients, # of anything’s). I don’t got ’em right now, and I am honestly figuring out how to ‘make it’ each day as I go.
This feels hard to swallow as a typical type A overachiever … perhaps I “shouldn’t be” in the place I am right now. But I am. And, I am making this choice consciously in order to have the space I need to work deeply, creatively, mindfully, in alignment with my values. It is wild to me that in order to work this way, I feel like I have to make the choice to take a hit on all the other fronts (*this is a huge and important topic that needs to be discussed on its own). I know it is a deep privilege and freedom to make this choice in the first place. All of this makes me even more determined to offer something magical, valuable, and authentic as my contribution to the world.
What I am finding as I learn how to let go of feeling “successful” on traditional terms is that there is a another lens of success that I could use for myself — a lens of honesty, alignment, life experience, human connection — and from this perspective, I feel insanely rich.
I have had the amazing fortune to travel the world, experience other cultures and soak in the beauty of this world. I have the blessing of beautiful, supportive friendships, amazing, loving family, generous mentors and community, all of whom encourage me. I have genuine faith in myself to create something meaningful for others out of this life experience that I hold. I can make the space for myself to embrace my creative flow, and work in alignment with my values in the world. I feel connected to myself and in integrity with who I am right now, and that feels like one of the most priceless measurements of all.
These are incredibly empowering and privileged things to feel and ‘have’ in my non-bank account. I really want to count this as success.
In my realization, I also want to offer to out anyone else who feels ‘broke’ or unsuccessful by traditional standards, please give yourself the freedom to look at your life from another lens — one that feels aligned to you. Give yourself the permission to feel rich in other ways. And I mean really, truly give yourself validation and celebration for these things … your life experience, your friendships, your connections, your conversations with a neighbor, your hopes and visions for the world. They matter, and you matter for embodying them. It is radical to consider success in these ways, and I can only imagine how transformed would our world be if we allowed this to be what we uphold and celebrate as true.
I can acknowledge how odd the sensation of being both broke and rich at the same time is, yet I have to say it feels wildly freeing too.
*This was originally posted to my Medium account - feel free to follow me there if you are so inclined.
Lately I keep coming back to the realization of how much the present moment matters. It really does.
It’s where my life takes place, it is the source of how it unfolds. It’s where I make the choices that determine the direction of my life, where I meet others, where I can truly hear myself, and where I get my ideas.
And yet how much time do I spend in my day, swirling around in my head either in the past or the future or… missing the reality of what is in front of me?
All. The. Time.
Particularly as a sensitive empath, who picks up on all kinds of energy, and stimuli around me, I find it is so simple to be pulled off my own path and into the urgency of the world, the path of others, a set of realities that are not mine.
Coming back ‘home’ to me is a real practice … particularly because I want to both live in the world and be a human.
As I’m diving back into my creative flow, I am reconnecting with this deep truth that the moment is where all of my creativity unfolds; it’s where the insights spark, where the magic happens, where love takes place.
You know that feeling where time slows down and you are just following the flow of one unfolding experience to the next, watching it take place in front of you? Chasing an idea … a deeply creative conversation … an unfolding vision … a beautiful expression of love.
I love and truly desire more of those in my life. So I’m asking myself to work on slowing down, dropping the never-ending addiction of the mind that wants to fast forward to the future, or remain in the past … which is really hard btw … and refining my practice of honoring the moments in front of me.
As I do this I am also holding the practical truth that moments matter a lot — *and* — they are infinite.
There are more coming my way, so I can have another chance to slow down and live in them.
I will undoubtedly make a mistake (… like, later today) and I will miss the moment. Because I am human. And I am going to F** up.
And in those moments, I can give myself grace and forgiveness so that the next time, I want to come back and experience the moment again.
Here’s to honoring yourself and your moments today.
Founder of Mind Into Matter and lover of coffee, color, and passport stamps.