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the Latest "question for self" is out!

10/29/2015

A newsletter for inspired self-inquirers.

Happy October!

How is fall treating you?

It's been an energetic one for me, chock full of new insights, perspectives, and then of course asking myself... 'how do I put all of this together?' The changing colors seems to set off shifts in all directions. And this newsletter is no different.

When I started Question to Self, I had a hunch it was going to be one grand experiment and that insight has already proven correct. I've decided to make some major tweaks in this note, all of which are based on the question of the hour:

“what if I stopped doing things just because I think I ‘should’?”

and -

"what would it look like if I instead crafted based on what I truly want?"

The truth is I started Question to Self because I was telling myself I really 'should' do more marketing for my business. And I started a newsletter the way I that thought one would. But when I put it under the microscope a month later, it didn't feel like it had the essential pieces of me in it. It didn't feel compelling to me.

So the iteration began, and I'm now making shifts toward what feels more like a 'me' newsletter, one that I truly want to send.

Here is what I'm testing in this edition:

Audio - Since I struggle to say everything I want to in writing, at the end of the newsletter I'll share many of my insights and 'how I'm applying this concept,' podcast style.
Timing - Declaring this would come out monthly was a big 'should' .. I felt I needed a timeframe people would understand. Yet I've realized that profound nuggets might come together slower, or they might come quicker than that. Rather than forcing myself to send something on the same date each month, I'd love to send you a question when I have a truly captivating one to share.
In Real Life - my favorite way of learning (and interacting) is face-to-face with a tribe of others on the journey. In this edition I'm linking the Question to Self with my free workshop, Life Lab, so anyone who is so inclined can come dive into this topic in person with others. If you're in DC and free on 11/4, come join us!

Ok, on to the good stuff...

Inspiration(s) for the Question

1) In September, I spent two full weeks of totally offline existence on the islands of Hawai'i with my family. And friends, let me tell you - - if you want perspective on your life, I will happily write you a prescription for turquoise water, volcanoes, fresh fish, lava and sand, topped off with the aloha vibe. I have to say that truly letting go* of everything gave me the headspace to come back and clearly see the next phase of growth for my business, and myself.

*And it's frickin hard to fully let things go! That is another topic itself ...

2) While in Hawaii I dove into The Desire Map by Danielle Laporte. I can't express in this short amount of space how powerful and eye-opening this book has been for me. I highly recommend you take a deeper look at her process if this Question to Self piques your interest.

"Desire is a teacher: When we immerse ourselves in it without guilt, shame,
or clinging, it can show us something special about our own minds that
allows us to embrace life fully."

—Mark Epstein, author of Open to Desire, quoted in the The Desire Map.

So why does this matter?

Well... if we don't learn the difference between what we truly desire to do and what we do out of obligation, guilt, expectation, or to please others, we will never be able to access our authentic, inspired work (or life!). The deeply meaningful contributions we make come from our core, not from layers of 'should' that surround it. When we learn how to focus our energy, heart and attention on what really drives us, we create a greater impact and feel a heck of a lot more alive while doing it.

*A very key caveat - this is HARD WORK friends; it doesn't happen overnight. Being real about what we want is vulnerable, counterintuitive and runs against the grain of what our culture puts forward. Even choosing to believe this is notion can be challenging. It is a process of growth that will shape us as we go through it.

The Questions to Ask Yourself

Are you ready to dive in to this one? There is no time like the present to start getting honest about what we really want.

Talking about 'shoulds' and 'wants' can get raw, so please collect all your self compassion and use it generously as you take a deeper look at how this question plays out in your life...

Over the next few days, observe what shows up in the categories of "should" and "truly want." I created a tracking journal to guide you through the process.
At the end of a week, take stock of what you see. Are there themes? Is there one thing that's glaring you in the face?
Now that you're seeing this, what do you want to do about it? - -
1. Is there anything you want to stop doing, or part ways with?
2. Is there something you might want to re-frame it so that it feels more meaningful and compelling to you?
3. What are the things that are truly essential, thrilling and motivating... and how do you design a way to get more of them into your life?

Share what you learned: Tell a friend what you learned... and ask them to hold you accountable. Or simply allow an interesting conversation to unfold about what you really want for yourselves. Sharing this work inspires it to last more sustainably.

How I'm applying 'process':

This is where I'm introducing the podcast! I have a lot to share about how this unfolded for me, and the nuances that I've been working through to apply this. The process is certainly not as black and white as we'd want it to be. So have a listen.

*And I'm guessing you may not want to listen to a podcast immediately right now, so bookmark the page, put it in an Evernote, and come back to it.

Alright, thanks for making it to the end!

You are set up with a meaty question this month, and I'd love to hear how it goes for you, what you learn. Shoot me a note if you'd like.

Sending love & brilliant insights,

PS. Thoughts?

I'm always curious to hear your feedback on the letter itself ... do you like the podcast? The new tweaks? What might you change next time?

Forward

the Latest "question for self" is out!

Inspiration(s) for the Question

So why does this matter?

The Questions to Ask Yourself

How I'm applying 'process':

PS. Thoughts?

a note i wrote myself ...

what I'm needing today...

Quote of the week

Allie Armitage

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